Now I see

You and me are from different world. 

It just gives me a big big slap. 

It's time to wake up.

You are really so far from me. So far.

If I know earlier that we are so far apart at this time, I will never wanted to meet you and to have you as my friend in my life. I'd not to know you. 

I felt so bad. Really bad. 

原来

你以为某人是多么的需要你，但当他离开时，你才会发现，原来，被需要的，不是自己，而是对方。

一切离别，虽由天定。但当来到你面前，你是多么的措手不及。

笑，只是个表情；

与快乐无关。

心，放不下，就是放不下。

与一年前不同的，是我已经学会如何掩饰。 

原来

你以为某人是多么的需要你，但当他离开时，你才会发现，原来，被需要的，不是自己，而是对方。

一切离别，虽由天定。但当来到你面前，你是多么的措手不及。

笑，只是个表情；

与快乐无关。

心，放不下，就是放不下。

与一年前不同的，是我已经学会如何掩饰。 

不值得

如果说，这就是原因，我只能说，你很单纯。

这是你的损失，不是我。

既然你选择如此，但愿来生再续缘。

再见，真挚的朋友。

Don't you think is it too obvious?!

A phrase from my friend pop in my mind at sudden. 

    "Classmate, is classmate; colleague, is colleague; friends, is friends; family, is family."

This is so true that I should have understand since long ago. But I have faith in those stupid believes. 

And now what hurt the most, is myself. 

Well, it is too obvious to teach me that lesson. I couldn't hold it at this point. Why don't you just being gentle instead of slapping on my face. 

I am really tired, for being such a fool in front of it. I need some rest. 

简单的快乐，不简单。

无论多少杯星巴克，都无法取代你的一杯白开水；

无论多少的黄金，都无法取代你的一颗石头；

无论多少的安慰，都无法取代你的一句“还好吗？”；

无论多么时间，都无法取代和你共处的时间。

我要的，只是简单的幸福。

但是，简单，一点也不简单。

猫永远是猫。

若你异想天开地想把猫当成狗，把狗当成兔子，把兔子当成猫的话，那就别怪别人绝情。

说真的，当下的感觉，就是绝望，完全地绝望。真的无法面对这份情谊。

其实，无论你是谁，我都对得起自己，至少我已尽了，或超越了朋友该做的。

有一位朋友对我说，同事，就是同事；同学，就是同学；朋友，才是朋友。或许，我是时候要面对这句话了。

还有，终于给自己一个交代，既然有男朋友，就不去打搅她的幸福吧！

那一句

你的那一句话，真的伤透了我的心。

到现在我还可以感觉到那隐隐作痛。

一句＂只是随便说说＂，就是尖锐的刀。

I need that.

A time when only me and myself.

It has been too busy and annoying in my life recently. 

Need to be calm down. 

Too tempered. 

Too frustrated. 

奢望，还是希望。

这样的期盼，

是无助的；

是无奈的；

是煎熬的；

是伤心的；

是痛心的。

心，

纠着结；

淌着血；

流着泪。

这样的期盼，

是希望，还是奢望？

或许没有答案，或许早已回答。

是与否，对与错，不再重要。

重要的是，

我，

在你心中，

是过客，

还是小船？

在你心中短暂停泊，

被抓摸不定的海浪，

给无情地卷走。

 

我，

是朋友；

是知己；

是情人；

还是路人？

It's time to clean the mess

Not to make this mess become messier.

Yes, I have make up myself. And now it's time for me to clean it up.

No matter how, my everyday will be a happy day, at least I will try my best.

You, you you you and you, will not gonna make me down.

You do your way, I do my way.

You live your life, I live my life.

=)

Everything has proved me.

I was told that it wasn't my fault, it is their loss for being fool. But how can I treat my friends as fools?

You wouldn't believe the thing unless you experienced it. Yeah, that's true. The experiences these few days is unforgettable. It is just like a big hand slapped at my face very hard.

And now, I'm awaken. Awake from the dream, from the most stupid dream of being such a fool like me.

People come and go in my life. That's absolutely normal. But please don't teach me in that way.

I have learnt my lesson. I hope that wasn't too late.

People asks me smile, I tell them "till my heart does".

Hey! Don't blame on me for the changes as I wasn't the first one who started it.

Things will change, so do I.

A little hope, perhaps?

Well, I wait for it.

透•明

当心已透彻，扉终会明白。

当光线透过雨滴，却不再是白的。

透彻与明白后，将会是透明。

透明和隐形不同，

隐形，是完全不知情，看不见，属于被动漠视。

透明，是看得见，但却当作看不见，透过主体看后方，属于主动漠视。

当我隐形者，为陌生人；

当我透明者，为熟悉的陌生人也。

如果我有时光机

...我要回到六年前，阻止自己爱上你。

...我要回到五年前，加倍努力读好SPM。

...我要回到四年前，收回自己流过的眼泪。

...我要回到三年前，好好记住和你们的邂逅。

...我要回到两年前，避开和你成为知己的机会。

...我要回到一年前，珍惜一切关于你的时刻。

...我要回到半年前，还我一个开心的自己。

现在的我，好不开心，好不自己。

我到底是谁？！

我要的是什么？！

我的梦在那里？！

When is the time?

...time to end up the mess.

...time to forget all the pain.

...time to let go all the bitter memories.

...time to get a brand new start of my life.

生•活

脚根淤泥，

歌楚四面；

处身逆境，

生逢绝处。

处境尴尬，但又无法离开。

四周的环境都不利于己，

既然身处在逆境挣扎，

不如寻找生机，欢自己一个快乐的人生，

证明自己活过，

实实在在地活在这土地。

请大力大力地讨厌我。

我每天都试着最大的力气不去有这样的想法，

但事实上，它的确发生在我身上。

被人无辜杯葛；

好兄弟突然疏远，或者只是我自作多情；

每天受着人前人后两个样的对待；

一旦我插进对话，就是话尾；

独处时，宁愿睡觉，做低头族也不要和我聊天；

我主动开聊，你答一句就假装睡觉。

别当我是傻子了，我已经死了不是吗？

我在这里，鞠一个大躬，叩个响头，说一声＂对不起＂！ 无论我在哪里冒犯你们，我真的诚心向你们道歉。

边界

一年才一天的主角，有些人，自然会有别人给，别人陪。
而我，总是求别人陪，求别人给。

到底是我平时对别人太差，还是我太在乎？

我想应该是我已到了边界，寂寞边界。

此时此刻

没有了我的围绕，希望你能走过去。

没有了我的陪伴，希望你能克服它。

没有了从前日子，希望你未来幸福。

没有了往日誓言，希望你承诺将来。


最后的最后，我还是多么的自私，
想在你身边陪你熬过今夜。

大结局

好吧，这就是大结局了！

作为朋友该做的，我做了。

我对得起自己，对得起良心。

也说声谢谢，因为我上了宝贵的一课。

这次，就连我自己也觉得很笨。

良心？以后不会有这戏码。

我的世界，就只有我。

Happy birthday to myself

The time has finally bring my 22th birthday away. 

This year, not surprisingly had the same experience like last year.

Firstly, thanks to Jason, Choon Eng, Seah and Pomelo for accompanying me on last Saturday. Thanks for being at my side. Well, I'm really sorry to said that isn't celebrating anything, this is the reason I paid back the Starbucks drink. I'm happy you guys willing to spent your time with me, but honestly I did not feel warm instead, cold. 

Thanks for the hug. 

Kinda disappointing Mr. L and Ms. Y did not notice my special day. 

Next year, I would not expecting anything. Because it will only makes me down.

Ciaoz~

Soon be at an end.

I knew it but I never wanted it. 

I'm gonna miss you so much. 

Came from different place, and will go to a further place.

We are considered not much communicate between us especially using mobiles. When it finally ends, the only way to connect us is the mobile or internet. Lesser and lesser topic between us, lesser and lesser conversation we will have.

It's a compulsory stage in life, I must go through it. 

However, I am really tired. Tired of missing someone. Why everyone I cared is going out of my life so quickly and easily?! 

Maybe I should stop asking why. 

I will appreciate so much the day I have with you. Hopefully it will be a beautiful memory in my life.

又一次的心碎

就真的连“好朋友”都不可以吗？

我感受到的，就只有萍水相逢而已。

好想离开这里，

我好辛苦，好不想活得这样。

可以离开吗？

离开了，就真的忘了吗？

为什么我已付出我所有，得到的就只值得一句“再见”吗？

我的强颜欢笑，不是理所当然。

我好想哭。

真的真的，好想哭。

这样的时候，又有谁会停留在我心中，

陪我度过这难熬的夜晚。

我好讨厌自己。

就连我都讨厌我，更别说其他人。

我好模糊，

就连一个认识快十年的朋友，都对我完全不了解。

我好失败，

就连一个平时对我来说普通的考试，都考得一塌糊涂。

我求求天，

让他离开我的世界，要不就我离开，

还我一个开心又爽朗的自己。

我，期待着那天的到来。

是错吗？

有这样的想法是错误的吗？

渴望被爱，渴望关心，是罪过吗？

爱情世界里，爱与被爱真的不能成正比？

难道要她明白真的困难？

友情世界里，真心的付出不一定能的到真心的关怀？

难道要他明白真的困难？

我的世界里，是我想太多还是别人不想懂？

不是，都不是。而是我给自己第二次希望，但却又领悟得太迟。

惟有改变自己，从内到外。彻底的改变，彻底的领悟。

The saddest thing ever

is no one can actually talk with you deep inside, and have to express it out through blogger. Yeah, that's sad but that's fine.

Night peeps.

What is my price?

"Seems like everybody got a price..." sang by Jessie-J.

So, what is mine? How much?

The value of oneself has to be judged by other people. How important you are, cannot simply said by yourself but others who think you are the important one.

But, do you really want to have a price? I mean people see your personality after the price. Yeah, that is what is going on in the community nowadays, but would you want it to happen in your private or personal community life?

Everyone is born to be something. That is the most important fact in our life. No one can be simply replaced.

I hope everyone in this world, can be whatever they are born to be.

Do not think you are better than me, I will make you a surprise one day.

Too much

Too much about friendship.

It's time for me to go back to my family.

Love? I'm so afraid to be hurt.

Good day to die "heart"

It's today. Let the heart die.

Friends? The most normal friend will do. Please do no think of close or even a good bonding in between. A "hi & bye" perhaps?

Love and friends. Girl and brothers. These had hurt me so much.

I'm not craving for love, I'm just craving to be cared. One message got half message replied. Am I just too boring for you or you are just not interested on me? It has been almost

I really hope to have a real brother in my family. Well, that is already a truth that cannot be changed. What if one outside of family? That is a great question which I always asked myself, "do I really need to do that?". I have done what I can, I sacrifice my time to help, but what I have in the end is just not more than a thank you. Just reply my message will cheer me all the time.

Well, my heart was chose to die today, at this moment. This is the end for me and you. Please do not say I am changed (You are so kind if you have noticed), I'm just trying to protect myself.

I hope it will not regret me.

不一样的团圆饭

团圆饭，故名思义一家人吃饭。

今年的团圆饭，有别以往。

少了一双筷子，少了一张椅子。

只能感叹与怀念过去那似乎理所当然的团圆饭。

我，又想你了。在天国过得好吗？

有付出就有回报？

当你付出所有，你就会得到一切？

别傻了，醒醒吧！

不但没有一切，一点点都没有。

我，彻底地无言。

请不要讨厌我。

人生，总有低潮，跌入低谷的时候。

正置低迷，我不渴望有人能够明白我。

但也请不要疏远我。

嬉皮笑脸不是我的风格，敏感的我可知道你们对我的想法与突然改变的态度。

我没怪你们，没有生气。

同样的，请不要怪我，生气我，远离我。

我需要的是关心，不是可怜。

请不要以可怜的目光看我，我不会感谢与珍惜。

作为男性，似乎不需要这么感性。

但对于我的关心，一个拍肩膀的动作，就很窝心。

这样突然地疏远，我真的无法适应。

原谅我的自私，不是不要说出来，而是谁又会借我那肯聆听的心。

我已尽量补救，但似乎无补于事。

既然处于“身在一群中，感觉始终一人”的尴尬与无趣里，

倒不如我从来没出现，还你们一个快乐。

Mess

My life is so messy.

Relationship, friendship, family.

I hope I have never met that one.

God bless.